Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Time Change & My Health

UGH! MM is not dealing well with the time change. She is getting up before 5 every day & is exhausted & falling asleep before 6pm. We are trying to get her back on schedule. She came busting into my room this morning while I was trying to quietly get dressed for work. Needless to say, she scared the poop out of me!

Now for the update on my appointment. I am scared, but doing okay. I have to have an angiogram (it is like a heart cath, but they look at other vessels, not your heart)in a few weeks. They are going to check to see how big the narrowing is in my abdominal aorta & in my renal arteries. He wants to check the renal arteries since one test says I have renal artery stenosis & one says I do not. I asked if that meant just doing an angioplasty or a stent when he looks. He said he feels that with how large it appears on ultrasound (even though ultrasound tends to make it a little bigger) & the location of it, that is most likely can not be stented. He says I will probably be looking at a bypass graph on my aorta. He says it is good they found this cause most people die from it. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it can be stented. I am keeping the attitude that I have when it comes to dealing with MM's docs. They always give worse case scenario & then things often turn out a little better than that.

I don't know. I guess I know too much & am trying to be naive. I really am scared $hitless. I put up a good front for everyone else so they won't be scared. What if they can't fix it & I have to have a major surgery? What if something bad happens to me? What will happen with me being down from a major surgery for so long? How will I care for MM? Who will help take care of MM & me? Who will help take care of MM if something does happen to me? The stakes are high any way, but they are even higher with a SNK to take care of. We don't have a whole lot of support here- mostly my mom & dad then a few friends. MM will only stay with my mom or DH.

They have to get me fixed though cause we still have a lot ahead of us. We got a lot of livin' to do (as the song goes).

Just please, if you get a moment, can you pray that things will be better than they think? Maybe if we storm heaven, it will work out. Thanks everyone. I am off to bed to try to sleep. Nov 24 can't get here fast enough...


Ellen said...

Hi. The tests sound scary, and it's hard not to imagine the worse, but TRY not to! I'm a big worrier about lots of things, but I've also learned that being anxious isn't good for the kids, they somehow sense it. So I just try to focus on the present, and pray for the best (and I will say a little prayer for you). Doctors definitely practice CYA medicine--Cover Your Ass medicine. They tell you the worst. And then, yeah, things usually turn out much better. Nov 24 will come soon, and then you can have the happiest Thanksgiving!

Colleen said...

We will say lots of prayers for you! I hope everything will go well and they will be able to just do the stent.


Nancy said...

I will be praying like crazy for you that it is much less scary than what the doctors are telling you. You know better than anyone that they have to give worst case scenarios. Hopefully that is also the case in your situation.