Or lack thereof. That is what is causing all of this extra anxiety. I have absolutely no control over this situation. I am a type A for sure. I like to be organized and in control. I am a micro-manager. You would think that with a SNK, I would learn to roll with the flow easier. I have in regards to her. I wouldn't call it easier, I just tolerate it. I try my best to make sure it all goes well. I keep my palm handy at all times to organize the many appointments. She has her schedules as well. In that respect, her ASD goes well with my need for organization.
I try my best to fix everything & make sure it goes smoothly. I am a middle child, so I am a peacemaker. I mediated between the the older & the younger, while fighting my own battles as well. As an adult, I try to make life in the extended family as smooth as possible. I am not irrational like my older sibling, nor am I a huge dreamer like the younger. I am the level-headed one.
In my job, I fix people. You can't breath, I help you make it so you can. I am the one people come to for advice or when they need help. I am a take charge kind of girl. I step in, assess the situation & get done what needs to be done.
So, that is why I worry. This whole thing is out of my control. I have to rely on everyone else to "fix this" and make it so. I also worry cause this has been going on for so long & no one else HAS fixed. I hope that this will take care of everything & make me feel well. I am sick & tired of being sick & tired.
7 years ago