Saturday, August 15, 2009

What to do?

It is Saturday. What do thousands of children do on a Saturday afternoon? They attend a birthday party they were invited to. We were invited to my friend's daughter's first birthday party. I would have absolutely no hesitation in going if it were just my coworkers & her family. They are used to MM & understand her. However, her DH's family will be there as well as some of his friends & their families. People who don't know MM or anything about her. Strangers stress her. Stranger's children really stress her. She is already in full on ASD mode this morning. I will feel bad if I do not attend.

I just don't feel like being the poster child for autism today. I am not in the mood to answer questions, ignore the stares, work on calming her & just be stressed the whole party. It is not fun for me. I think I would be resisting the urge to give out my smart a$$ answers rather than being kind.

Some days I just can't. I think it might be one of those days. I am fighting the funk about this. I just want to climb in bed with the covers over my head & have a good cry. It makes me sad that we can't just load up & go to a birthday party. I don't know if I want to see all the NT children (neuro typical to all of my new followers) running around, care free, no problems.

Something so simple for most and not so for us.

7 comments:

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

LOL at your Caption. You already won girl, stop stealing their thunder! hahaha

I changed my pic just for you....

Jo said...

I'm so sorry you're struggling with something that should be a fun and happy occasion for all involved.
You're so much like me in that regards--sometimes it's easier to just not attend things rather than deal with ignorance of others, although, not particularly their fault either.
It's that dreaded moment when you know or feel that things about to take a turn...and all eyes are upon you.
Perhaps you can just drop off a gift for your friends daughter and explain to her about your anxieties and how you see the day potentially heading.
It's hard to watch others with their seemingly "normal" lives. When one struggles daily--whether it's Autism, financial or whatever it is people are dealing with in their lives--it's difficult to sometimes sit back and be happy for others.
You may feel as I do; while I certainly and truly don't begrudge people happiness, I just don't necessarily want to be around them all the time.
I wish you a beautiful day and the best with your decision.
You have much support here.
Peace, love and happiness,
~Jo
"Diary Of A Sad Housewife"

Christine said...

I have felt like this many times, and it certainly is a struggle. I am so sorry that you couldn't just have the type of day you envision.

As Regan get s older, i find that she wants to be less social than we as a family are. It can be very frustrating that we would all like to go to a BBQ, wedding, party, and Regan wants to stay home and watch TV. I find myself making her go just so that I can have a social life. It can be such a no win situation.

Jessica said...

Sorry to hear that. Most people don't understand what a nightmare social events can be for an autistic child.

My sister is one of them. She doesn't understand why I refuse to take Karen to anymore of her kids bday parties. She always has them in a crowded, noisy public place and Karen just can't take that kind of environment.

Colleen said...

I totally skipped out on a party earlier this summer because of the other people that were going to be there...have already dealt with stares and rudeness at previous ones that I didnt feel like it again. So I dont blame you at all!

therextras said...

I hope you did something enjoyable instead.

thekidwhisperer said...

remember that all of us have days when we are simply overwhelmed or saddened by our circumstance. you are only human. do what you can and keep loving your precious girl as best you can. face it kids don't remember all the parties they attend or that their parents pass up on. special needs or not i know many parents who feel the same way when birthday parties come around.