Some days, I just think "Autism, you are an Asshole!". It really can drive me crazy; completely to the edge of insanity. It has been this way for the last few weeks around here.
MM has been constantly stimming. Her favorite stim is language which means we ALL get to "enjoy" the stimming. She stims when happy. She stims when upset. She stims when she gets up way, way too early. She stims when she is overly tired. She stims when nervous. These vocal stims can last for hours sometimes. Here is a mini list of her current favorite stimming statements:
"Up to your room"- this is yelled at full force, usually in bed, either when trying to go to sleep or very early in the morning. Thanks Berenstain Bears for this one.
"How do you wipe Clara's bottom? From the top to the bottom? Yes, never bottom to top. Clara's hygiene is very important"- this one is usually asked of a person about 5 gazillion times a day. Even if you answer, you will be asked this over & over & over. Thanks My Baby DS game for this one.
"What body systems are there? Skeletal, Muscular, Digestive, Circulatory & Nervous"- See above about the frequency of this one. Thanks science book for this one.
These are just a few of them. I am so tired of hearing these. I am just plain tired. She did so well for a couple of weeks. I bragged, boasted & strutted like a peacock. Now, I am just plain defeated, exhausted & sad. This really isn't going to go away. No matter how much therapy we have done, trying to redirect, ignore, etc., it is always going to be here (not just the stims, but everything about it). I don't like living with it. I can't make peace with it or even be its friend. Why?
Cause autism is an asshole.
Maybe I will feel better next week.
6 years ago