Monday, June 15, 2009

Warning: This Post Uses Offensive (to some) Language

Some days, I just think "Autism, you are an Asshole!". It really can drive me crazy; completely to the edge of insanity. It has been this way for the last few weeks around here.

MM has been constantly stimming. Her favorite stim is language which means we ALL get to "enjoy" the stimming. She stims when happy. She stims when upset. She stims when she gets up way, way too early. She stims when she is overly tired. She stims when nervous. These vocal stims can last for hours sometimes. Here is a mini list of her current favorite stimming statements:

"Up to your room"- this is yelled at full force, usually in bed, either when trying to go to sleep or very early in the morning. Thanks Berenstain Bears for this one.

"How do you wipe Clara's bottom? From the top to the bottom? Yes, never bottom to top. Clara's hygiene is very important"- this one is usually asked of a person about 5 gazillion times a day. Even if you answer, you will be asked this over & over & over. Thanks My Baby DS game for this one.

"What body systems are there? Skeletal, Muscular, Digestive, Circulatory & Nervous"- See above about the frequency of this one. Thanks science book for this one.

These are just a few of them. I am so tired of hearing these. I am just plain tired. She did so well for a couple of weeks. I bragged, boasted & strutted like a peacock. Now, I am just plain defeated, exhausted & sad. This really isn't going to go away. No matter how much therapy we have done, trying to redirect, ignore, etc., it is always going to be here (not just the stims, but everything about it). I don't like living with it. I can't make peace with it or even be its friend. Why?

Cause autism is an asshole.

Maybe I will feel better next week.


Christine said...

I am so glad you put this out there, and at the same time I am so sorry because it sounds frustrating. I often get irritated with Regans asking nearly every question at least ten times just to make sure the answer hasn't changed. I have seriously had to stop myself from screaming back the answer after the millionth time. I wish you were close by to me cuz it seems like you and I need grownup-no-kid time more than anything nothing solves the "asshole" problem like a mani/pedi and a margarita

Colleen said...

Yep it is!!!

I hate the circles they doing so great and you are thinking oh how the therapy has worked...then something starts up again! Then you are wondering why it isnt working anymore and cant ever figure out exactly what works.

beauty obscure said...

delurking - this post made me think of your post and I thought it might be helpful to you...

Anonymous said...

Is it better that my son does not speak actual words, but rather when he stims it's high pitched squealing while he is bouncing off his bed?

MeghatronsMom said...

To Anon: I don't know which is better. She makes funny noises at times too. Some kids with ASD never speak, mine never stops talking! LOL

Queenbuv3 said...

My son didn't speak until he was 5. He is now 11 and has really bad echolalia. So I am still happy to hear any words come out of him most of the time. Some of the times he is actually trying to communicate with these phrases. Do you think she is trying to tell you something?

There are times when his echolalia is too loud and we can't hear each other talking. Then it definately is annoying.

Hang in there. At least she can speak : )

Jessica said...

I know what you mean. My daughter Karen does this a lot. She asks the same thing over and over and you have to repeat after her or she just gets really worked up about it. Grabbing your face and yelling the question or quote at you.