Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Helping Out or a Handout?

There has been much discussion (read that as arguing) going on at our house the past few weeks. I don't believe I mentioned here that MM is on the Ambucs Wish List for an AmTryke

(the trykes are awesome but ridiculously expensive). She tried it at therapy and was actually able to make it go. I am very excited to get her one so she can get stronger & actually ride a tricycle like a typical child. All of this sounds like a good thing, right?


The mister is very touchy about money & such. I sent out an email to all of our friends & family about getting her a trike. Replies started pouring in that they had donated to MM's bike fund (it IS tax deductible, a very worthy charity to donate to knowing exactly where the money goes). My FIL called on Sunday to say he & his wife would give us the rest of the money to get the tryke! WOW! Good news! Then they called us again yesterday to say that FIL's mother in law (so MM step grandma, complicated!!!) & a neighbor had given him money as well. It was quite a bit of money (>$100). FIL said that he & his wife still wanted to buy the tryke & would give us the money to put towards MM's private therapy. Still good news...


As I said, the mister is very touchy about money. He also has a strained relationship with his father. He does not want him to buy the tryke, nor does he want the extra money. He says he will get it, get another job, HE will provide for her, etc, etc. RIGHT! Get another job- he complains all the time about going to his regular job. I am also exhausted all the time trying to work full time myself plus do all the housework, errands, appointments... At least I get a minimal break when he comes home cause he does play with MM in the evening. If he were to get a second job, I would never get a break and probably have a nervous breakdown. We are not millionaires, hundred thousandaires or even ten thousandaires! We have been struggling to pay for the extra therapy & such all summer. We have spent countless hours going to & from, at & doing therapy for her. We have spent thousands of dollars in equipment & medical bills. We have provided for her again & again with minimal help. Sometimes one can not do it ALL alone. I am so angry that he is being pig-headed & won't swallow his pride. I feel like he is with-holding from my baby. This is something that she needs & will allow her to do the things a child should!

Being a parent is about sacrifice. Being a SNK parent is often total sacrifice. He needs to quit making this about him- it is about MM & her needs. He needs to suck it up and realize this is not a hand-out, but people helping out MM.